But how to get to that state of happy antagonism? To start: work on abandoning preconceived roles. "Free from provider father and ideal mother expectations, gay couples share labor more fairly and split tasks based on what people like to do or are good doing," Brigid Schulte wrote in Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time. According to one researcher Schulte quotes, "The biggest difference we see between heterosexual and gay couples is the trait of openness. And because of that, gay and lesbian couples tend to be more egalitarian."