II. How Professional Caregiving Men Think Others See Them

In the focus group discussion, the majority of professional caregiving men said they worked in female-dominated environments. Sometimes they were one of a handful of men—or in some cases, the only man—on their teams, in their departments, in their hospitals, childcare centers or schools. Cameron said that he is “always” the only African American male nurse at meetings at his workplace.

Luther said he works with primarily Filipina nurses and Latina certified nursing assistants. “Everyone worked wonderfully together,” he said. Because men in caring professions are so rare, many in the focus group said that people are surprised to find out about their work. “Being male, most people are surprised that I work in senior care. They see me as more of a construction kind of guy,” said Luther. “Once they understand what I do and why, I think they become impressed with my skills and my empathy for others.”

Once they understand what I do and why, I think they become impressed with my skills and my empathy for others.

Some of the professional caregiving men, because they were older, said that people often sought them out for mentorship or, as Dominic said, as “the person everyone comes to for answers or to get the job done.”

In describing his workplace, a nursing home facility where the majority of staff are women and the top administrators are men, Terrence was also describing a common phenomenon in female-dominated work environments: vertical segregation, where women may make up the majority of the workers, but the managers and leaders tend to be men.

Still, despite how rare they are in caring professions, and the disbelief they sometimes encounter, most of the professional caregiving men in the focus group said they felt society respected them and valued their work, but only, as Montell said, “to a certain point.” In the NORC survey, too, the majority of professional caregiving men in the sample said they felt respected for their role taking care of others within their profession (70 percent) and outside their profession (63 percent.)

Dominic said that even though friends and acquaintances are surprised that he’s a male nurse, they are “impressed” when they find out he’s a cardiology nurse practitioner. “I get phone calls from friends, family and church members wanting my opinion on their or their family members’ health problems or recommendations for a physician.”

Gordon, the early care educator, said that while people say they value education, early care and learning teachers aren’t compensated for their work. “There is evidence now that shows the effects of a high quality early education, and yet teachers still do not get the respect they deserve.”

Said Joshua, “Society values nursing as a whole. However, males in nursing are usually derided or the butt of many jokes. (Meet the Fockers),” he said, referring to the movie where the character played by Ben Stiller is continually derided for being a male nurse and questioned about why he didn’t become a doctor, implying he made a lesser choice, or couldn’t “hack” being a doctor.

Devon agreed and added: “I feel that male nurses are an easy target for people to make fun of. I hate the term ‘Murse.’”

When we asked whether they thought society viewed professional caregiving men favorably or negatively, only three thought they were seen favorably for being men in care work. “The idea that only women can be compassionate enough to be nurses has long gone,” said Terrence.

The idea that only women can be compassionate enough to be nurses has long gone.

Yet others said that, because of stereotypes and stigma, society frowned on their presence as men in caring professions. “They may believe that men who are in my role are soft or feminine and in some cases gay. But this is the furthest from the truth,” said Cameron. “I think this narrative is slowly changing. Men tend to be asked to leave rooms where women are undressing or in vulnerable positions.”

Joshua, too, said that he felt society, in general, viewed men in caring professions negatively. “While nursing is considered to be a noble profession, it is also predominantly a female profession, and males in nursing are given a hard time because of the nursing stereotype,” he said. “Also, in society, males are expected to be stoic and not show emotion. A good nurse is able to use their emotions to their patients’ benefit.”

The men in early care and education said they are often looked on with suspicion because of, as Gordon said, “the bad press and horrible crimes men have committed in my profession.” Montell said he, too, faces bias that “males are more likely to molest a child” than women are. Further, he doesn’t believe the stereotypical view that only women can teach or care for infants because they have “motherly instincts” that people don’t think men have.

In our NORC survey, a small share of professional caregiving men reported feeling that they aren’t accepted by their colleagues (9 percent), or students, patients, or clients (5 percent), and that others are uncomfortable with them providing care (6 percent). About one in 10 say that they aren’t trusted to provide care because of their gender (5 percent) or that they are treated differently on the job because they are men (4 percent).

Similarly, in the NORC survey of men and fathers who provide unpaid care for family members, about one in five men (21 percent) said that people do not trust them to give care or to parent in a safe and caring manner simply because they are men—twice as many as women who provide unpaid care for family members.

And while some in the focus group of professional caregiving men said the “stigma” of being a man in a female-dominated caring profession is “slowly fading,” it’s still an everyday factor. Stereotypes and unconscious bias that men should be doctors and women should be nurses, or men should be principals and women should be teachers are still powerful, they said.

“When people first find out that I work with babies they laugh,” said Malique, who works with infants in an early care and learning center.

Luther, who was the only man in his nursing classes, said that nursing is still considered a “Pink Collar” position. “I’m not sure how much guys like the term,” he said. “I think some men see nursing as a ‘sissy’ field to enter.” In school, he said, “some of the students felt I should be elsewhere (as in the field of construction.) Others asked why I didn’t study to become a doctor. No one understood why I chose to work with seniors.”

Lucas, a male nurse, said some “older ladies that are old fashioned” who think nurses are only women are surprised to see him, and often will prefer a female nurse to help them with bathing and toileting. Male nurses, he said, are sometimes drawn to the ICU or Emergency Room, “because it has the most adventure that men seek.”

Cameron, another male nurse, agreed. “As I once worked in the ICU, I have noticed that more males are in ICU because ICU nurses have more autonomy and leadership, and that’s what men mostly like to be viewed as stereotypically.”

When we asked the focus group, “Would doing your job be different if you were a woman?” five said no, and six said yes.

Of those who said it would be different, it’s primarily because people are more likely to look up to or defer to them because they’re men—a bias that benefits men but contributes to men and women experiencing different treatment at work and gender-based isolation. Cameron said that he tends to get more respect and leadership roles because he’s a man, “which is great for me, but biased at the end of the day.” Similarly, Nathan said that “there are times when my opinions are taken more seriously because I am a male, and that might be a hindrance to many female nurses in that it is more difficult for them to be heard by patients and physicians.” That’s a scenario Dominic said he sees over and over. He will often give his medical opinion to doctors and be listened to, whereas female nurses are more likely to get pushback. “I have seen this firsthand,” he said.

Joshua said were he a woman, he would have more friends at work, and not feel so isolated. “Although I have friends at work, I don’t think it’s easy to have a best friend of the opposite gender, excluding your spouse. It’s usually not the best thing for a married man and a married female coworker to go out. However, females are able to do that frequently.” He added that while the caring duties would be the same, “I do think it is easier for females because of the social support.”

As a result of the focus group discussion, Joshua reached out to his 17-year-old son, who had once made a joke about his being a male nurse. “He said it was kind of funny. I asked him what was funny about it, and he said that in society everybody thinks it's funny for a guy to be a nurse. Even with that so close to home, I wouldn't change what I do, am proud of the work I've done, and for the many people I've been able to comfort.”

I wouldn't change what I do, am proud of the work I've done, and for the many people I've been able to comfort.

Ten of the 13 professional caregiving men in our focus groups said they would encourage men to enter caring professions that are still largely dominated by women.

Luther said he would, with one caveat: They have to love the job, and they have to be willing to break with the stoic male stereotype that they’ve been conditioned to believe is the “best” way to be a man and show their masculinity, and instead embrace their emotions. “I honestly feel females make better nurses due to empathy and other emotional factors. Sometimes men have no inner feelings. A lady may say ‘I understand, how may I help you?’ A guy might say ‘No big deal, Suck it up,’” he said. “However some men make good nurses. I would tell a guy, ‘If you really love helping others, it's worth it.’ If you’re looking for a paycheck, find something else to do.”

Montell and Gordon, the early care and learning educators, both said it’s important that they be role models, and show the way for men to become early educators. “What we do as a whole is very valuable because we could be role models for younger males, and influence them to follow their dreams no matter what society standards are,” Montell said.

Joshua said he too hopes more men will enter caring professions and help dispel gendered stereotypes and bias. “With the shortage in nursing, I think that it is critical to tap into the male side of the population. I think the portrayal of actual people in the profession, emphasizing that people, in general, are caring and nursing IS caring,” Joshua said. “Also, explaining the benefits would show them that there is a real opportunity.”