Experiment No. 3: The Social Secretary

The Basics

We’re Trying to Solve: An unbalanced mental load
Target Audience: Parents, couples, housemates, families
Ages: 8 and up
Category: Mental load
Estimated Time: 30 minutes – 1 hour over a few weeks
Difficulty Level: Moderate with some followup

I got the idea for this experiment when friends asked my husband and me to go to dinner, and my husband said to check with me because I’m the family scheduler. So he got to clear his mental load and I got another task tacked onto mine. This is what we came up with to more fairly share. It takes more time at the beginning of the month, but it ensures that the rest of the month doesn’t weigh down the de facto social secretary (usually the wife or mom).
– Brigid Schulte

Directions

1. Create a shared family calendar, either on paper or digital.
2. At the beginning of the month, gather together and share scheduled travel, commitments, activities, deadlines, or fun events that are coming to town, etc
3. Assign each person or family member one week to be the family Social Secretary and responsible for scheduling family activities.
4. Discuss and agree to social secretary rules. Can the social secretary say yes to new invitations on their own? Do they check with others first, then make the final decision and respond to the invitation with a yes or polite no? (Our rule, the secretary must check with others first to gauge interest and energy levels. And if only some members of the family want to participate, that’s fine.)
5. As possible events come in, the social secretary updates the family and the shared calendar.
6. At the end of the month, take a moment to think about who usually schedules family activities. What did you notice when everyone took a turn? What worked? What didn’t? Did you make more of an effort to try new things and have fun? Thank everyone for playing along!

Connect With the Better Life Lab

Are you going to try this week’s experiment? Do you have a story about how you and your own family solved a problem with the work at home? Is there a specific challenge you’ve been trying to tackle? Can this experiment be improved? Please let us know via this form, at bllx@newamerica.org, or in our Facebook group for BLLx Beta Testers.

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