The Republican Party Is on the Verge of Extinction

Rosa Brooks wrote for Foreign Policy about the future of the GOP: 

Seldom does the global public have an opportunity to observe an endangered species in its natural habitat, but this week, wildlife enthusiasts received a rare glimpse into the poignant final days of the American Republican elephant.

Classified as “critically endangered” by international authorities, Elephantidae republicanus, though native to the United States, has struggled for decades to adapt to its rapidly evolving biome. The enormous pachyderm — once a noble animal that roamed the length and breadth of the nation, as common in America’s cities as in its rural areas — has, in recent years, seen its numbers dwindle and its habitat contract.

Recently, however, some unknown constellation of events brought more than 2,000 surviving specimens of E. republicanus to a Cleveland watering hole known locally as the Quicken Loans Arena. In this sheltered environment, E. republicanus can now be briefly observed, and we urge all naturalists, both professional and amateur, to take advantage of what may be a final opportunity to see this great beast before its almost inevitable demise.